you're always saving me
by dismantle-the-sun
Summary: Mulder is in the hospital after a near-fatal case, Scully waits by his bedside


I just started watching X-Files a few weeks ago (i'm really late on this, I know) but it's quickly become my favorite show and Mulder and Scully have taken over my brain and I had to write this to get some of these pent-up x-files feels out, so this happened. I've only seen up to season two so far, so sorry if they seem a bit OOC or anything, i'm still pretty new at this!

this isn't set during a particular episode or case, just a random situation inspired by the fact that they always seem to be waking up in hospital beds

(edit 9/8/12- i edited out Scully calling him Fox because just yeah no)

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"Mulder, I don't know if you can hear me, but I-" Scully paused and breathed deeply before continuing in a shaky voice, "I want you to know that you're going to be okay. You're strong; I know you can fight through this. It's – everything's going to be fine." Scully's voice broke on the last syllable as tears slid down her cheeks and her lower lip quivered. She clutched Mulder's hand tighter, begging him to come back to her, to be okay, to open his eyes, anything. Anything other than being stranded in this awful purgatory.

"None of this was your fault, you don't deserve this." the words fell softly from her mouth, bouncing off his deaf ears before falling harshly on the cold hospital floor. Her hand moved up his neck before sliding into his hair and stroking gently, pulling the damp strands away from his cold forehead. She squeezed his hand tighter as she cradled his head, her tears falling gently onto his thin hospital blanket. "Please, Mulder. I need you." Her words came out in soft gasps as she struggled to control her tears. He'd been injured badly before, but never like this. A procedure like his had never been done before. His case was completely unique, and there was no way of telling if what the doctors had done would even work. Ordinarily, the amount of radiation he suffered would kill a man. But that was no ordinary radiation, and Mulder was no ordinary man.

She rubbed slow circles into his hand as she stroked his hair, her tears still dropping onto his chest and her breathing still unsteady. "Mulder-" Scully's words were cut off by sobs as her head fell to rest against his shoulder. She'd tried so hard to be strong. She tried so hard to be brave, to bring him back. But she couldn't do it. She couldn't stop him from going into that chamber in the first place, and now she couldn't save him. She couldn't even look at him without falling apart. She'd tried so hard to be tough, to be independent, to block out everything. But then he'd gotten in and ruined that. He'd come into her life and made her need him and now he was gone and she didn't know how she would survive without him.

"I must've done something awful to make a pretty girl like you cry over my bedside."

Scully's head shot up from his chest and she was greeted by Mulder's clear green eyes and lazy half-smile, his hand curling tightly around hers. "God, Mulder, I thought you were going to die" Scully breathed, kissing him on the forehead before he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his chest in an awkward, one-armed hug.

"And leave you? Never. I'll always come back to you." The weight that had been threatening to crush her was lifted from Scully's chest as she saw his stupid grin. No matter what happened now, he was alive, and that was all that mattered. Everything else could be dealt with later, just as long as he was okay.

Scully pulled herself away from his eyes as two doctors ran in the room, checking his vitals and pressing buttons on the machine next to his bed. Scully stood and wiped the last trace of tears from her eyes before looking questioningly at the doctors, asking for confirmation that he really would be okay.

The shorter of the two doctors moved to the end of Mulder's bed, flipped through his chart, then said, "Well, Agent Mulder, I think you're going to be just fine. You'll probably want to rest for a couple weeks, but after that you should be okay. You were very lucky Agent Scully was here." Mulder looked questioningly at Scully before the doctor clarified, "She saved your life. We'd never seen any sort of problem like this, but she knew exactly what to do. I don't think we would've been able to stabilize you without her."

Mulder reached up and gently took Scully's hand before smiling and saying, "Sometimes it seems like you're always saving me, Scully." Scully smiled back and squeezed his hand, but didn't trust herself to speak without crying again. Her body was finding so much stress difficult to process, and she didn't want to break down in front of him again. Especially now that he was awake.

The doctors smiled and left the room, leaving Scully standing over his bed, gripping his hand. She sat down and pulled her chair closer, running her free hand through his hair. "How'd you know how to do it? Save me, I mean." Mulder asked, leaning his head in slightly towards her hand.

"I – I don't quite know. It was something I'd read somewhere, I guess. I just had this feeling that it would save you, so I trusted it. I – well, never mind." Scully trailed off, suddenly staring at a spot just behind his ear rather than looking into his eyes.

"Don't do that to me, Scully. Tell me. C'mon, after what I've been through, nothing involving this situation would surprise me."

"I sort of- well, I had this feeling, this sort of weird certainty that I knew how to save you. And I didn't even question it because, I… I just trusted it, I guess. It felt familiar. It felt like someone I could trust. It… it almost felt like you were there, Mulder. In my head, telling me how to save you. Is that crazy?" She finally met his eyes, begging him to understand. She was afraid he would be mad that she took such a wild chance on his safety like that, doing a procedure that she'd never even heard of, that had maybe never even been performed on anyone before.

"No, Scully, that's not crazy at all. It is a bit surprising that you trusted that feeling, though." Scully could feel her nerves settling down as his calm, reassuring voice washed over her. "I'm glad you trusted your instincts."

"I didn't trust my instincts, Mulder. I trusted you."

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please review, and don't be afraid to give constructive criticism! i definitely need it...


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